13 things you should keep in mind when a loved one passes (yours or a friends)

Two weeks ago I decided to use my TT as a way to honor my fabulous parents. I even used an old picture of my dad when he had surgery a couple years ago as my 'humor is the best medicine' caption. Unexpectedly my dad passed away less than 48 hours later. We have been on a rollercoster from hell that doesn't stop once the ride is over, it keeps going and going until you are sick.

I have no regrets about my relationship with my daddy. We saw him almost every day of the week and when I did see him we laughed, talked and just enjoyed the energy of one another. He was kind and loving yet had a feisty side that always made me laugh. I was there the Tuesday before he passed and he told me to 'move my stupid fat ass' because he thought I was in the way of the remote. That was my dad, that's how he talked and that's what I loved about him. Those that know me, know that's how I talk too and it doesn't mean I love you any less. As a matter of fact, if I am not talking like that to you, I probably don't even like you much!

The Monday before my world was shattered, I complained on my blog about a ripped contact and broken glasses. At the end of my post I wrote, 'If this is the worst that happens to me this week, I am good to go but man..........' If I only knew then what I know now!!!

Mom and Dad were hit head-on by someone that blew through a red light six weeks ago and they had court the Wednesday before he passed. The baby and I went with for moral support. The guy that hit them kept apologizing and wanted to chat with my dad. Due to the 'quiet zone' in court, he was unable to chat. Mom and I couldn't get out of there fast enough when it was over yet dad was walking really slowly. We told him to hurry and he said , 'no, I want to talk to this guy and accept his apology.' I still hear his voice telling the guy that blew through a stop sign and tried to leave that 'things happen and the important thing is that everyone was okay.' He was so forgiving and kind!!

Thursday morning I rushed to the hospital after he told my mom to call 911. Long story short, he left this earth with his wife of 54 years, 5 daughters, 5 sons-in-law, and 15 grandkids by his side. The hospital was fabulous, our family is fabulous and our hearts will forever be broken.

That said, after recently being though this hell, I decided to write 13 things you should keep in mind when a loved one passes (yours or a friends)....




1.Skip the idle chit-chat with the family at the wake/funeral. Their minds are spinning - to say the least
2. Bring food to the house, otherwise they won't eat
3. Show up to the wake and/or funeral no matter what you have on your schedule - As my mom always says, 'you do the things you want to do and make excuses for the things you don't'
4. Hold your family close, very close
5. Hold your good friends close, very close
6. Hold your good friends that never leave your side even closer
7. Eliminate your 'good' friends that didn't show up to pay their last respects - Two minutes at a wake is a lifetime of gratitude to a grieving friend
8. Breath, laugh, cry, love, hug, repeat
9. 'Take one minute at a time - the hours take care of themselves' - Thanks Cousin Joanie
10. As impossible as it is, rest and eat
11. Remember everyone mourns differently, respect them
12. The immediate family is in survival mode, if you think they need something, just do it for them. What they want, they can't get back
13. Don't forget to be there when the dust settles, that's when the silence sets

Love you Daddy and we ALL miss you!!